Dear Reader,
If you’re anything like me, life for you has been a series of hard lessons and harder coping. Waves of stress have pounded over you, weighing heavily on your drooping shoulders, resting in the bags under your eyes. You’ve been kicking your legs and flailing your arms for so long, so desperate to swim through these tumultuous waters, that you’ve forgotten how good it feels to simply float for a while. To rest on the top of the waves and give your aching limbs a break.
I know you wouldn’t know this, honey, but it’s okay to simply float. It’s alright to take care of your needs before taking care of the desires of others. You cannot keep swimming if your body is being pulled under by the weight of exhaustion.
The stressors in our lives can feel like too much sometimes. Often times this is due to the fact that we haven’t given ourselves a moment to catch our breath. We haven’t allowed ourselves some peace and quiet to manage the levels of stress we are enduring. Whether the stress you’re experiencing is stemming from your career, school, relationships, family, social, or a combination of all or some of these problems, it’s always important to remember to take time for yourself.
A lot of stress management comes down to boundaries, the lines we draw in the sand to tell others they shall not cross. There are four A’s in stress management: avoid, alter, accept, and adapt. You can avoid some of the smaller stressors in your life by creating distance between them and you. If you find you cannot avoid a stressor, you can alter it by clearly communicating your needs and limitations to others. If there is something holding you back from being able to fully commit to a situation, state that from the beginning. Accepting that we cannot change or avoid every stressor is highly important. If you need to simply accept a stressor, ensure you have a friend to call, a book to read, or another hobby that brings you joy and reduces your stress. Forgive yourself for the hurt you’ve caused, and forgive others for the hurt they’ve caused you. Forgiveness is essential to accepting the stressors in your life. If you’ve tried to avoid, alter, and accept a stressor, but it’s still weighing on your conscious, the final option is to adapt. Change your expectations of stressful situations.
Expecting perfection from yourself or life is like racing down a dead end street of disappointment. The tides may shift, the waves may calm sometimes, but the waves are always still there. Learning to float atop them is vital to ensuring you can continue to swim through them. And if you’re anything like me, you probably need to read it again: I know you wouldn’t know this, honey, but it’s okay to simply float. It’s alright to take care of your needs before taking care of the desires of others.
All the Best,
Lovely Lady Bell